Chief Minister Howard Quayle’s warned the Island’s new female MLCs to ‘stop voting hysterically’.

This week, he summoned the Tynwald members to his throne room in order to lay down the law about fetching his pipe and slippers instead of actually doing their jobs.

‘We only elected you because the Tynwald building’s looking dreary and, as men, we can’t chooose soft furnishings,’ he mansplained.

‘So just do me a favour and pop the kettle on will you love? And the Treasury Minister’s office could do with a quick hoover, there’s a dear.’