Jesus has been told to shut the hell up about abortion after it emerged he didn’t vote in the last Manx election.

The fictional Messiah’s been chipping in about the evils of letting women undergo medical procedures via his elderly followers.

However, it’s now been revealed the imaginary Jewish leader didn’t register to vote and has never taken part in a Manx poll.

It’s also thought he could be English, after he admitted he came from a cross.