A man from Andreas has become the first person in the world to split the atom with a headbutt.

Dougie The Mile Quacken thought the smallest constituent unit of ordinary matter with the properties of hydrogen spilled his pint in the Douglas discotheque The Courthouse on Saturday.

The 21 year old  then sundered the atom in two, “sticking me head on it” as Quacken explained.

Nearby particle physicists were prevented from studying the phenomenon by women dragging them away shouting “leave it” and “it’s not worth it”.