A UK man who asked what the difference was between Lonan and Laxey has sparked a major escalation of tensions in the region. Tanks have been massing…… Read more “Border tensions rise after man’s Lonan / Laxey misstep”
Category: News
Fake news from the Isle of Man.
Lump taxpayers with useless building, urge halfwits
Idiot campaigners are urging the government to give an empty building to a heritage organisation that already loses £4 million a year. Castletown Police Station, barely on…… Read more “Lump taxpayers with useless building, urge halfwits”
Motorbike racers to race motorbikes at motorbike racing festival
The official TT press launch takes place tonight, with organisers expected to announce motorbikes will be at this year’s festival. At the Villa Marina this evening, those…… Read more “Motorbike racers to race motorbikes at motorbike racing festival”
Upgrades planned for Tower of Refuge
The government says the Tower of Refuge could get a new lease of life a tourist attraction as it targets niche visitors. The Department for Enterprise says…… Read more “Upgrades planned for Tower of Refuge”
Crack compliance duo bust ring breaching Manx anti-money laundering regulations
An Onchan compliance senior just days from retirement and his junior partner from Sulby have foiled a Mexican drug cartel. Both had been suspended from their roles…… Read more “Crack compliance duo bust ring breaching Manx anti-money laundering regulations”
Man ‘raised by fridges’ after Archallagan crash
A man’s been brought up and raised by fly-tipped refrigerators after a car crash in Archallagan. The “Manx Tarzan” was originally from Douglas but was separated from…… Read more “Man ‘raised by fridges’ after Archallagan crash”
Ayres ‘still there’ says explorer
A team’s confirmed the northernmost tip of the Island is still in place after a winter of bad weather. The government sent the expedition to Bride and…… Read more “Ayres ‘still there’ says explorer”
Shock at public Peel bird sex
Visitors to the Sunset City were horrified this week when a full-scale seagull orgy broke out on Peel Promenade. Tourists were presented with the bawdy wing-ding over…… Read more “Shock at public Peel bird sex”
Snow not bad enough to whine about gritters
Snow showers at the weekend have massively disappointed Manx Facebook whingers, as not enough flakes fell to criticise the Department of Infrastructure. Despite a weather warning from…… Read more “Snow not bad enough to whine about gritters”
Manx cycling coaches to teach ‘not falling off’
Trainers trying to raise the next generation of great Manx cyclists have confirmed they’ll concentrate on showing people how not to fall off in future. It’s after…… Read more “Manx cycling coaches to teach ‘not falling off’”
Street race to decide MT vs Sure row
Telecoms firms are to hold an illegal street race to decide who’s the best once and for all, it’s been revealed. For the past few weeks, Manx…… Read more “Street race to decide MT vs Sure row”
May’s visit threat spurs surge in barrel orders
The Island’s barrel-making industry has received a multi-million pound boost after Theresa May threatened to visit. Coopers were wallowing in cash and a sudden rush of orders…… Read more “May’s visit threat spurs surge in barrel orders”
Donkey minister prompts “Quayligula” quip from chief minister
Chief Minister Howard Quayle says he wants to change his name after appointing a donkey to a ministerial post. “Call me Quayligula!” he burbled after signing a…… Read more “Donkey minister prompts “Quayligula” quip from chief minister”
Women hospitalised after reading reasonable ManxForums post
Two women from St Johns are in a “stable” condition at Noble’s Hospital after reading an accurate, considered and empathy-filled ManxForums post. Both were treated by paramedics…… Read more “Women hospitalised after reading reasonable ManxForums post”
Castletown man keelhauled over “up north”
A man from Castletown’s been dragged through the streets by police until his lifeless body was hanged from a lamppost as an example to others about their…… Read more “Castletown man keelhauled over “up north””
Man gives up on ‘fucking stupid TT game’
Port St Mary man Matthewfuckmytoe Quilliam has told his girlfriend he’s giving up the latest TT videogame she bought him because “it’s shit”.Quilliam, aged 81, bought the…… Read more “Man gives up on ‘fucking stupid TT game’”
Comeover’s new driving licence ‘funny’
A woman from the UK who’s lived on the Island for eight weeks says her new driving licence is weird. “I’ve never seen one like it before…… Read more “Comeover’s new driving licence ‘funny’”
Peel man comes up with unusual economic plan
A man from Peel says a radical shift in the Island’s economic and industrial policy is needed by government. Gordy Quane announced in the Whitehouse this week…… Read more “Peel man comes up with unusual economic plan”
Who will fall next to the Curse of the Isle of Man?
The Isle of Man is looking fearfully at celebrities and asking “who’s next?” this afternoon after two fatal showbiz tragedies in two days. Professor Stephen Hawking visited…… Read more “Who will fall next to the Curse of the Isle of Man?”
Man backs down over prom plans bet
A Douglas man’s been forced to admit he was wrong after his three year old daughter couldn’t draw better plans up for the capital’s promenade. 62 year…… Read more “Man backs down over prom plans bet”
Fleet Skeet 