We give reluctant pixels to our sadly misguided motoring correspondent Darren “Pully Torque” O’McNally.

Parkin’s one o’ them things everybody’s, like, on at me about and I don’t know what’s wrong with ’em. There’s loads of parkin’ but you have to have the Manx at you, mind.

You can park anywhere on a single yellow line if you indicate in to it and leave the car running with the keys in it while you get out and wait in the queue at the bank.

But for double-yellow lines, you’ve gotta use both indicators so put your hazards on.

If you do get a ticket, you can always appeal it. For your best chance of getting off, don’t forget to mention:

• You were only a minute
• Have they nothing better to do?
• You basically pay their wages
• Everybody in a position of power is a Little Hitler
• Your ticket’s paying for the £20 million prom revamp
• You’re Manx and you don’t think the parking controller was

Best of luck!