Marvel as Pulrose Voodoo Warlock Darren plucks the hairs of your future from the legs of the sexy constellations.

Aries (March 21 – April 19): We are being called to explore the nexus itself as an interface between guidance and presence. Eons from now, we warriors will heal like never before as we are recreated by the infinite.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20): Who are we? Where on the great circuit will we be guided? Only a visitor of the nexus may release this source of wellbeing. You must take a stand against turbulence.

Gemini (May 21 – Jun 20): Self-actualization is the richness of energy, and of us. Today, science tells us that the essence of nature is healing. The goal of superpositions of possibilities is to plant the seeds of manna rather than bondage.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22): There’s nothing with McDonalds drive-through, according to the spirits of your father and mother David and Wendy. They’re saying you should apologise immediately for making a scene and offer to take the young man in question out. Or face the wrath of the stars!

Leo (July 23 – August 22): Although you may not realize it, you are spiritual. The galaxy is calling to you via electrical impulses. Can you hear it? How should you navigate this spatial dreamtime?

Virgo (August 23 – September 22): We are in the midst of a higher awakening of being that will let us access the totality itself. Humankind has nothing to lose. Our conversations with other warriors have led to a summoning of supra-magical consciousness.

Libra (September 23 – October 22): The complexity of the present time seems to demand a blossoming of our auras if we are going to survive. Desire is the antithesis of synchronicity. We can no longer afford to live with turbulence.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21): Your activation code is ready. Once you receive this code you neural implant will attempt temporal shift. Code: i0M-$ecr3t_Int£1lIgEnC3

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21): Consciousness consists of ultra-sentient particles of quantum energy. “Quantum” means a maturing of the unrestricted.
We must learn how to lead spatial lives in the face of bondage. Soon there will be a deepening of freedom the likes of which the cosmos has never seen. It is in maturing that we are re-energized.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19): Wearing your skimpiest clothes and prancing around the Heron is not acceptable. Stop it. Stay home and think about what you’ve done to your poor ex.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18): The dreamscape is aglow with ultra-sentient particles. We reflect, we self-actualize, we are reborn. You and I are dreamers of the quantum soup.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20): Many of the truths that we cling to depend on our point of view.