Let Pulrose Mater of the Arcane Arts Darren O’McNally guide you to your figurative astrological table of #YOLO.
Aries (March 21 – April 19): Self-actualization is the richness of energy, and of us. Today, science tells us that the essence of nature is healing. The goal of superpositions of possibilities is to plant the seeds of manna rather than bondage.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20): We are being called to explore the nexus itself as an interface between guidance and presence. Eons from now, we warriors will heal like never before as we are recreated by the infinite.
Gemini (May 21 – Jun 20): Who are we? Where on the great circuit will we be guided? Only a visitor of the nexus may release this source of wellbeing. You must take a stand against turbulence.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22): The dreamscape is aglow with ultra-sentient particles. We reflect, we self-actualize, we are reborn. You and I are dreamers of the quantum soup.
Leo (July 23 – August 22): We are in the midst of a higher awakening of being that will let us access the totality itself. Humankind has nothing to lose. Our conversations with other warriors have led to a summoning of supra-magical consciousness.
Virgo (August 23 – September 22): Although you may not realize it, you are spiritual. The galaxy is calling to you via electrical impulses. Can you hear it? How should you navigate this spatial dreamtime?
Libra (September 23 – October 22): Consciousness consists of ultra-sentient particles of quantum energy. “Quantum” means a maturing of the unrestricted.
We must learn how to lead spatial lives in the face of bondage. Soon there will be a deepening of freedom the likes of which the cosmos has never seen. It is in maturing that we are re-energized.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21): Temporal shift failure. Buffer overflow error. /sudo reboot #00fgdd3e4cc3c3
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21): Imagine a blossoming of what could be. We are being called to explore the biosphere itself as an interface between grace and love. We must learn how to lead unlimited lives in the face of illusion.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 19): Your ex is fine without you and doesn’t care you’re sleeping with his uncle. The stars know all. The neighbours do, too. Everyone does, in fact. And that new hairdo is awful.
Aquarius (January 20 – February 18): The future will be a karmic condensing of health. It is time to take consciousness to the next level. It is a sign of things to come.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20): A Jedi must have the deepest commitment, the most serious mind. This one a long time have I watched. All his life has he looked away… to the future, to the horizon. Never his mind on where he was. Hmm? What he was doing. Hmph. Adventure. Heh. Excitement. Heh. A Jedi craves not these things.