Treasury minister Alf Cannan has been described as “a very good boy” and given a chew treat after saving a child in danger. He found five-year-old Timmy…… Read more “Minister rescues child from well”
Month: Mar 2018
Call for Island to introduce Frankenstein’s Law
Paedophiles on the Island care calling for Tynwald to introduce new laws tracking and supervising angry mobs. The so-called Frankenstein’s Law was introduced in Europe after a…… Read more “Call for Island to introduce Frankenstein’s Law”
Sacking ‘not my fault’ says former shitshow department minister
Former health and social care minister Kate Beecroft says the chief minister was why she was sacked – not her repeated fuckups. She says her sacking was a…… Read more “Sacking ‘not my fault’ says former shitshow department minister”
Moddhey D’oh! Woman mistakes log for dog
A woman from St Johns who claimed she was bitten by the Moddhey Dhoo has admitted she just fell over a log. Diaspora Quayle, 62, was walking…… Read more “Moddhey D’oh! Woman mistakes log for dog”
Border tensions rise after man’s Lonan / Laxey misstep
A UK man who asked what the difference was between Lonan and Laxey has sparked a major escalation of tensions in the region. Tanks have been massing…… Read more “Border tensions rise after man’s Lonan / Laxey misstep”
Lump taxpayers with useless building, urge halfwits
Idiot campaigners are urging the government to give an empty building to a heritage organisation that already loses £4 million a year. Castletown Police Station, barely on…… Read more “Lump taxpayers with useless building, urge halfwits”
Motorbike racers to race motorbikes at motorbike racing festival
The official TT press launch takes place tonight, with organisers expected to announce motorbikes will be at this year’s festival. At the Villa Marina this evening, those…… Read more “Motorbike racers to race motorbikes at motorbike racing festival”
Upgrades planned for Tower of Refuge
The government says the Tower of Refuge could get a new lease of life a tourist attraction as it targets niche visitors. The Department for Enterprise says…… Read more “Upgrades planned for Tower of Refuge”
Crack compliance duo bust ring breaching Manx anti-money laundering regulations
An Onchan compliance senior just days from retirement and his junior partner from Sulby have foiled a Mexican drug cartel. Both had been suspended from their roles…… Read more “Crack compliance duo bust ring breaching Manx anti-money laundering regulations”
Man ‘raised by fridges’ after Archallagan crash
A man’s been brought up and raised by fly-tipped refrigerators after a car crash in Archallagan. The “Manx Tarzan” was originally from Douglas but was separated from…… Read more “Man ‘raised by fridges’ after Archallagan crash”
Ayres ‘still there’ says explorer
A team’s confirmed the northernmost tip of the Island is still in place after a winter of bad weather. The government sent the expedition to Bride and…… Read more “Ayres ‘still there’ says explorer”
Shock at public Peel bird sex
Visitors to the Sunset City were horrified this week when a full-scale seagull orgy broke out on Peel Promenade. Tourists were presented with the bawdy wing-ding over…… Read more “Shock at public Peel bird sex”
Guess why it can’t happen here
Each week, we’ll be asking a random minister why something we’ve read about elsewhere can’t happen here. Last week’s answer was mega-tsunamis. See if you can guess…… Read more “Guess why it can’t happen here”
Snow not bad enough to whine about gritters
Snow showers at the weekend have massively disappointed Manx Facebook whingers, as not enough flakes fell to criticise the Department of Infrastructure. Despite a weather warning from…… Read more “Snow not bad enough to whine about gritters”
Manx cycling coaches to teach ‘not falling off’
Trainers trying to raise the next generation of great Manx cyclists have confirmed they’ll concentrate on showing people how not to fall off in future. It’s after…… Read more “Manx cycling coaches to teach ‘not falling off’”
Street race to decide MT vs Sure row
Telecoms firms are to hold an illegal street race to decide who’s the best once and for all, it’s been revealed. For the past few weeks, Manx…… Read more “Street race to decide MT vs Sure row”
Your stars in the Pullyscope, 17 March
Come see your night-time stellar objects refracted through the gimlet eyes of Pulrose Voodoo Warlock Darren O’McNally. Aries (March 21 – April 19): The dreamscape is aglow with…… Read more “Your stars in the Pullyscope, 17 March”
May’s visit threat spurs surge in barrel orders
The Island’s barrel-making industry has received a multi-million pound boost after Theresa May threatened to visit. Coopers were wallowing in cash and a sudden rush of orders…… Read more “May’s visit threat spurs surge in barrel orders”
Donkey minister prompts “Quayligula” quip from chief minister
Chief Minister Howard Quayle says he wants to change his name after appointing a donkey to a ministerial post. “Call me Quayligula!” he burbled after signing a…… Read more “Donkey minister prompts “Quayligula” quip from chief minister”
Pully torque: learn yer parkin, yessir
We give reluctant pixels to our sadly misguided motoring correspondent Darren “Pully Torque” O’McNally. Parkin’s one o’ them things everybody’s, like, on at me about and I…… Read more “Pully torque: learn yer parkin, yessir”
Fleet Skeet 