Jesus has been told to shut the hell up about abortion after it emerged he didn’t vote in the last Manx election. The fictional Messiah’s been chipping…… Read more “Jesus ‘not on Manx electoral register’”
DOI horse tram profit plan revealed
The Department of Infrastructure will enter tram horses into races in the UK and bet on them to make the service profitable. DOI Minister Ray Harmer’s understood…… Read more “DOI horse tram profit plan revealed”
Island ‘too hot’ after months of being freezing
An Island woman is complaining about the insufferable heat, after a winter complaining about being too cold. Furious passers-by almost burned Mildred Kennaugh of Dalby at the…… Read more “Island ‘too hot’ after months of being freezing”
Motorcycles emerge from winter cocoon
Motorbikes across the Isle of Man are hatching from their winter cocoons as the Island sees its first sunshine in months. Traditionally, they find dark garages to…… Read more “Motorcycles emerge from winter cocoon”
Woman dies after Tesco car park trek
A woman’s died after being forced to walk thirty yards across Tesco’s car park. Val Disaire drove in laps round the car park for an hour, trying…… Read more “Woman dies after Tesco car park trek”
Athletes demand return of minister mascot
Commonwealth Games athletes are demanding Education Minister Graham Cregeen be sent to the next event, after picking up just one medal. The team says not having a…… Read more “Athletes demand return of minister mascot”
Fake biker course ‘fully booked’ for TT 2018
An Island business says its courses teaching people to pose as bikers during TT are now fully booked. Fireblade Fakery, based in Ramsey, says it can teach…… Read more “Fake biker course ‘fully booked’ for TT 2018”
Consultant hired amid passenger figure row
The government says it’s hired an exert to find out the true state of passenger numbers on the Island. It’s after the government said it saw a…… Read more “Consultant hired amid passenger figure row”
New lifeboat to patrol potholes
The RNLI says it’s launching a new lifeboat station on the Island to rescue people who fall into potholes on the roads. The new rescue service is…… Read more “New lifeboat to patrol potholes”
Scientists unveil Foxdale ‘Goldilocks Zone’
A team of researchers says a man needs between six and nine pints to survive a night unprotected in Foxdale. Boffins previously thought visiting the village and…… Read more “Scientists unveil Foxdale ‘Goldilocks Zone’”
1902 experience to be extended to whole Island
A Department of Infrastructure plan to recreate 1902’s horse tram offices is being backed by government, which will extend the scheme to the whole Island. The DOI…… Read more “1902 experience to be extended to whole Island”
Man falls from Sea Terminal after compliance chase
A man’s fallen to his death after a high-speed chase from compliance officers asking for a photocopy of his passport. Two members of bank staff pursued Hans…… Read more “Man falls from Sea Terminal after compliance chase”
Man set Commonwealth Games personal best
A man from Port St Mary’s beaten his personal best by falling asleep seconds into news coverage of the Commonwealth Games. David McNarwhal says he was genuinely…… Read more “Man set Commonwealth Games personal best”
Man’s ark ‘should be ready for TT’
A Douglas man says he’ll be prepared for TT weather this year, with an ark in his back garden. Juan Quanaigue has been building his giant wooden…… Read more “Man’s ark ‘should be ready for TT’”
Celtic League likes something
An investigation’s begun after the Celtic League revealed it doesn’t loathe something about the Isle of Man. Known for its whining about the media, police, government, politics,…… Read more “Celtic League likes something”
Minister’s Magikarp ‘immortal’
Health minister David Ashford says he’ll eat his hat if anybody beats his Magikarp Pokemon in a battle. It’s after Treasury Minister Alf Cannan announced changes to…… Read more “Minister’s Magikarp ‘immortal’”
TT to feature snowcat race
TT 2018 is to feature a new race class after snow closed the Mountain Road. Organisers say they’ll open the race festival up to snowcats, as white…… Read more “TT to feature snowcat race”
Douglas man ‘isn’t racist, but’
A Dougas man says he isn’t racist after criticising the amount of languages he hears but can’t understand. Himmler Quirk of Pulrose says it’s disgraceful those living…… Read more “Douglas man ‘isn’t racist, but’”
Guess why it can’t happen here
Each week, we’ll be asking a random minister why something we’ve read about elsewhere can’t happen here. Last week’s answer was the worsening state of men’s personal…… Read more “Guess why it can’t happen here”
New airport security area to be built from £50 notes
Infrastructure Minister Ray Harmer says the new security waiting area at Ronaldsway will be built from £50 notes. He says despite having no idea why queues…… Read more “New airport security area to be built from £50 notes”
Fleet Skeet 