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Fake news for your Manx mobile!

Month: Mar 2018

Women hospitalised after reading reasonable ManxForums post

Two women from St Johns are in a “stable” condition at Noble’s Hospital after reading an accurate, considered and empathy-filled ManxForums post. Both were treated by paramedics…… Read more “Women hospitalised after reading reasonable ManxForums post”

Mar 16, 2018Mar 15, 2018 by Fleet Skeet

Castletown man keelhauled over “up north”

A man from Castletown’s been dragged through the streets by police until his lifeless body was hanged from a lamppost as an example to others about their…… Read more “Castletown man keelhauled over “up north””

Mar 16, 2018Mar 16, 2018 by Fleet Skeet

Man gives up on ‘fucking stupid TT game’

Port St Mary man Matthewfuckmytoe Quilliam has told his girlfriend he’s giving up the latest TT videogame she bought him because “it’s shit”.Quilliam, aged 81, bought the…… Read more “Man gives up on ‘fucking stupid TT game’”

Mar 15, 2018Mar 15, 2018 by Fleet Skeet

Comeover’s new driving licence ‘funny’

A woman from the UK who’s lived on the Island for eight weeks says her new driving licence is weird. “I’ve never seen one like it before…… Read more “Comeover’s new driving licence ‘funny’”

Mar 15, 2018Mar 15, 2018 by Fleet Skeet

Peel man comes up with unusual economic plan

A man from Peel says a radical shift in the Island’s economic and industrial policy is needed by government. Gordy Quane announced in the Whitehouse this week…… Read more “Peel man comes up with unusual economic plan”

Mar 15, 2018Mar 15, 2018 by Fleet Skeet

Who will fall next to the Curse of the Isle of Man?

The Isle of Man is looking fearfully at celebrities and asking “who’s next?” this afternoon after two fatal showbiz tragedies in two days. Professor Stephen Hawking visited…… Read more “Who will fall next to the Curse of the Isle of Man?”

Mar 14, 2018Mar 15, 2018 by Fleet Skeet

Man backs down over prom plans bet

A Douglas man’s been forced to admit he was wrong after his three year old daughter couldn’t draw better plans up for the capital’s promenade. 62 year…… Read more “Man backs down over prom plans bet”

Mar 14, 2018Mar 15, 2018 by Fleet Skeet

God ‘not arsed’ about abortion law changes

Religious leaders on the Isle of Man say God probably won’t rain down fire and brimstone in a vengeful wrath if changes are made to abortion laws.…… Read more “God ‘not arsed’ about abortion law changes”

Mar 14, 2018Mar 15, 2018 by Fleet Skeet

Port St Mary offers to replace Stephen Hawking

A village in the south of the Island has offered to assuage British grief by replacing physicist Stephen Hawking. The 76 year old died at his home…… Read more “Port St Mary offers to replace Stephen Hawking”

Mar 14, 2018Mar 15, 2018 by Fleet Skeet

Treasury to wrestle EU in “tax haven” grudge match

Could the Isle of Man settle the “are we a tax haven or not” question once and for all? Treasury member Bill Henderson MLC thinks so, and…… Read more “Treasury to wrestle EU in “tax haven” grudge match”

Mar 13, 2018Mar 15, 2018 by Fleet Skeet

Ramsey man’s racist grandfather ‘almost ruined Black Panther’

A 24 year old man from Ramsey has apologised after his racist grandfather “lost it” during a screening of the latest Marvel movie hit Black Panther. It’s…… Read more “Ramsey man’s racist grandfather ‘almost ruined Black Panther’”

Mar 13, 2018Mar 15, 2018 by Fleet Skeet

Castletown woman ‘might’ see Gary Numan

A 23 year old from Castletown says she “might” go to a concert with 80s robot singer Gary Numan later this month. Chastity Cregeen was asked by…… Read more “Castletown woman ‘might’ see Gary Numan”

Mar 13, 2018Mar 15, 2018 by Fleet Skeet

Police appeal over whistling man in Douglas

Police have appealed for help from the public catching a man who was caught whistling on Monday. The incident happened in Strand Street in Douglas at around…… Read more “Police appeal over whistling man in Douglas”

Mar 13, 2018Mar 15, 2018 by Fleet Skeet

28 year old ‘regrets’ Outback visit

A 28 year old man’s privately admitted to friends he didn’t enjoy the Outback on Saturday night. The man, who didn’t wish to be shamed, revealed he’d…… Read more “28 year old ‘regrets’ Outback visit”

Mar 12, 2018Mar 15, 2018 by Fleet Skeet

Guess why it can’t happen here

Each week, we’ll be asking a random minister why something we’ve read about elsewhere can’t happen here. See if you can guess the minister and the issue…… Read more “Guess why it can’t happen here”

Mar 12, 2018Mar 15, 2018 by Fleet Skeet

IOM banks mourn loss of Ken Dodd’s tax-dodging

Banks in the Isle of Man are checking their balance sheets today after the death of one of their most secretive clients. UK man Ken Dodd was…… Read more “IOM banks mourn loss of Ken Dodd’s tax-dodging”

Mar 12, 2018Mar 15, 2018 by Fleet Skeet

Brexit row ‘pile of shite’ – Foxdale man

A Foxdale man says the delicate balance of negotiations as Britain prepares to leave the EU is a “pile of shite”. Aul’ Juan Stop-At-Home Watterson was speaking…… Read more “Brexit row ‘pile of shite’ – Foxdale man”

Mar 12, 2018Mar 15, 2018 by Fleet Skeet

Tynwald welcomes ‘bloody women’

Five new women have been elected to Legislative Council, preserving the House of Keys sausagefest. Middle-aged male MHKs voted for the ladies in what’s being called “The…… Read more “Tynwald welcomes ‘bloody women’”

Mar 12, 2018Mar 15, 2018 by Fleet Skeet

Beach cleaners say ‘fuck it’, go drinking

A team of volunteer beach cleaners on the Island got sick of picking your shit up on Sunday. The crew, which regularly cleans plastic and other rubbish…… Read more “Beach cleaners say ‘fuck it’, go drinking”

Mar 12, 2018Mar 15, 2018 by Fleet Skeet

World War G declared in Maughold

The Manx government has called in troops to deal with the ever-growing menace of goats roaming free in Garff. The ruminants have spread exponentially, and sending in…… Read more “World War G declared in Maughold”

Mar 12, 2018Mar 15, 2018 by Fleet Skeet

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